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Bondage can be defined as being
restricted or tied, and can have physical and or psychological components. One
of the main psychological component for the bound individual is often to feel
a sense of helplessness and symbolic surrender of responsibility over what
happens to them. Many bottoms can go deeper in a scene with bondage than
without it. Being in bondage allows for the bottom to engage the illusion that
he or she cannot escape what is happening in scene and may allow him or her to
relax deeper into the scene and enjoy it more.
Bondage can be physically
comfortable and simply enforced restriction of mobility, and for some this may
be enough without additional discomfort or pain. Or bondage can also be used
as a technique to inflicting pain, by forcing the body into positions that put
painful stresses on particular muscles.
Bondage is a topic that covers
a lot of ground. There are potentially infinite methods of restraining someone
and as many
reasons why people might need or want to be restrained. Deciding
what sort of bondage to engage in for a particular scene requires careful
consideration and communication. One would wish to take into consideration how
much the bondage in scene is for its own sake, or how much it is as part of a
means to an end. Often bondage is used as a means to achieving something else.
Bondage may be used where pain or intense physical stimulation is involved and
keeping the bottom still may be important. With bondage for its own sake, as
an end in itself - the equipment and techniques used will obviously depend
entirely on the preferences of the partners involved. With bondage as part of
a more elaborate scene, planning the bondage in context becomes important
Another distinction to keep in
mind is the difference between symbolic bondage and practical bondage. Does
the bondage need to be actually physically inescapable? Which is often the
case for those who appreciate bondage for its own sake, and for bottoms who
genuinely want to feel that they cannot avoid whatever else is going on. For
other scenes the impact of the bondage may be largely symbolically
psychological, and it may not have to be as physically functional. The
illusion of bondage may suffice. Some bottoms prefer to be able to struggle,
others prefer not to be able to move at all.
Things to keep in mind:
For tops:
Know your tools and
techniques. Familiarize yourself with any new tools or technique first
before employing them in scene.
Integrate what you are
doing in the context of the whole scene. If the bondage you use prevents
an activity you may want to engage in later, you'll either have to avoid
that activity or remove or modify the bondage the bondage later in scene.
Make sure you know how to
remove the bondage before you put it on. For safety reasons, have a back
up removal system, like scissors, or other quick release methods if your
bottom becomes distressed or safety is compromised.
Check in frequently with
your bottom for any potential problems. Ask about pinched skin, and
circulation, check skin temperature and color for indications that
circulation may be impaired.
For bottoms:
Be clear about the kind of
bondage you want and communicate clearly about how much you may struggle
or attempt escape and how much you want that to be prevented. What kind
of mobility do you want or not want.
Always alert your top of problems
as soon as you notice them, if there cut off circulation or pinched
skin, it won't get better on it's own, and interrupting the scene at a
later stage will be more disruptive for both of you.
Katt (Leila Raven)
Katt (Mistress Katt, Leila Raven) is one of the duo of
Wolfe and Katt who have co-created Erotimania. Involved in the adult
entertainment and fetish photography since 2000, and involved actively
in the BDSM community since 1993. Katt also has an MA in
counselling psychology, with a special interest in human sexuality. She
has made guest appearances on the HBO Real Sex Series, as well as
involvement with a number of other related projects.
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